I continue to be sleepy. This morning, for a few minutes I found myself awake and I comprehended my miserable state; I felt the bitterness of the privation of my highest and only Good. I was able only to shed a few tears, saying to Him: “My always good Jesus, how is it that You are not coming? These are not things to do: to wound a soul and then leave her! And what is more, so as not to let her know what You are doing, You leave her prey to sleep. O please! come, do not make me wait so much!”
While I was saying this and yet more nonsense, in one instant He came and transported me outside of myself; and since I wanted to tell Him about my poor state, imposing silence on me, Jesus told me: “My daughter, what I want from you is that you no longer recognize yourself in yourself, but that you recognize yourself only in Me. So you will no longer remember yourself, nor will you ever again have recognition of yourself, but you will remember Me, and un-recognizing yourself, you will acquire the recognition of Me alone. According to how much you will forget and destroy yourself, so will you advance in the knowledge of Me and will recognize yourself only in Me. Once you have done all this, you will no longer think with your mind, but with Mine; you will not look with your eyes, you will no longer speak with your mouth, nor will you palpitate with your heart, work with your hands, or walk with your feet, but will do everything with Mine. In fact, in order to recognize herself only in God, the soul needs to go to her origin and to return to her beginning – God, from whom she came — and to conform all of herself to her Creator. And anything which she keeps of herself and which is not conformed to her beginning, she must undo and reduce to nothing. Only in this way, naked, undone, can she return to her origin, recognize herself only in God, and operate according to the purpose for which she was created. This is why in order to conform to Me completely, the soul must render herself indivisible with Me.”
While He was saying this, I could see the terrible chastisement of plants withered, and how it must advance further. I could only say: “Ah, Lord, how will the poor people go on?” And He, so as not to listen to me, escaped me like a flash and disappeared.
Who can say the bitterness of my soul in finding myself inside myself, not having been able to speak to Him even one word for myself and for my neighbor; and for my tendency to sleep with which I was again left?