Who can tell my affliction in being deprived of my dearest friend, suffering? I admired, yes, the prodigious empire of holy obedience, as well as the virtue which the Lord had communicated to the confessor who, by obedience and by signing me, had freed me of a malady which I considered grave, and which was enough to undo my body. But in spite of this, I could not help feeling the pain of being deprived of a suffering so good, which moved blessed Jesus to pity and compassion, in such a way that I could make Him come almost continuously.
So, when Our Lord came I lamented to Him, saying: “My beloved Good, what have You done to me? You had me freed by the confessor, and so I have lost the hope of leaving the earth for now. Besides, why make so many stratagems, putting Father in the middle, when You could have freed me Yourself? Ah, maybe You did not want to grieve me directly, did You?” And He: "Ah, My daughter, how quickly you have forgotten that obedience was everything to Me, and I want obedience to be everything for you. Besides, I put Father in the middle, so that you would have regard for him as for My very person." Having said this, He disappeared, leaving me all embittered.
How many things can lady obedience come up with! One has to know her and have to deal with her for a long time, not a short one, to truly be able to tell who she is. Brava, brava, Lady Obedience! The more one goes on, the more you make yourself known. As for myself, to tell the truth, I admire you, and I am even forced to love you; but I cannot help feeling huffy with you, especially when you come up with one of your big ones. Therefore I beg you, O dear obedience, to be more indulgent – more indulgent in letting me suffer.