I am always in the Sea of the Supreme Volition. Oh! how many beautiful things are found in It; there are all the acts of Jesus as though in act; there are those of the Sovereign Lady; there are those of our Celestial Father, that He has done and that He will do. It is a sea, not divided, but One, interminable—It is everything. In this sea there are no dangers, nor fears of falling, because the happy creature that enters into It lays down her guises and takes on the Divine Guises.
So, while I was in this sea, my sweet Jesus made present to me when, in His Passion, the Apostles dispersed themselves, they ran away from Him, leaving Him alone and abandoned in the midst of the enemies. And my Highest Good, Jesus, told me: “My daughter, the greatest sorrow that I had in My Passion, the nail that most pierced My Heart, was the abandonment and the dispersion of My Apostles. I had not a friendly eye in which I could reflect My gaze. The abandonment, the offenses, the indifference of friends, surpass—oh! how much—all the sorrows, and even the death that enemies can give. I knew that the Apostles were to give Me this nail, and would cravenly run away from Me; but I paid no attention to this, because, My daughter, one who wants to do a work must not pay attention to his own pains—on the contrary, he must make friends in the good times, when everything smiles around him, and he sows triumphs and prodigies at each step; not only this, but he communicates the miraculous power to those who become his friends and disciples. Then everyone boasts of being a friend of one who is surrounded with glory and honor; everyone hopes, and as many friends and disciples as one wants, so many one has, because the glory, the triumphs, the good times, are powerful magnets that draw the creatures to follow the triumpher. Who wants to follow and be a friend or disciple of a poor one who is slandered, humiliated and despised? No one; on the contrary, they feel fear and horror to get close, and reach the point of denying he whom they were friends with before, as Saint Peter did with Me.
“Therefore, it is useless to hope for friends when the poor creature finds herself under the nightmare of humiliations, scorns and calumnies. So, one must make friends when Heaven smiles at us and fortune would want to put us on a throne, if we want that the good, the works that are wanted, may have life and continuation in other creatures. By My making friends when I was sowing miracles and triumphs—such that they reached the point of believing that I was to be their King on earth, and therefore, having been My disciples, they were to occupy the first places before Me—even though they abandoned Me in My Passion, when My Resurrection sounded My full triumph, the Apostles changed their mind, they reunited among themselves and, as triumphers, they followed My Doctrine, My Life, and formed the nascent Church. Had I paid attention to the fact that they would run away from Me, not making them My disciples in the time of My triumphs, I would not have had anyone who would speak of Me after My death, who would make Me known. Therefore, the good times, the glory, are necessary, and it is also necessary to receive piercing nails and to have patience in suffering them, in order to have the materials in My greatest works, so that they may have life in the midst of creatures.
“Now, has this not been a wholeness, a resemblance, of My Life, in your painful state of humiliation, of calumnies and scorns that you have gone through? I felt in you the nail of the abandonment and dispersion of My Apostles being repeated to Me, in seeing those who had been so keen to assist you disperse themselves from you, and with the will of abandoning you. And in seeing you abandoned, I saw you all alone in My arms, with the nail of the abandonment of those who were to sustain you; and in My sorrow I said: ‘Bad world, how well you know how to repeat the scenes of My Passion in My children.’ And I offered your bitterness for the triumph of My Will and for the help of those who should make It known.
“Therefore, courage in the painful circumstances of life. However, know that your Jesus will never abandon you—I don’t know how to do these things; My Love is not voluble by nature, but firm and constant, and what I say with My mouth comes out from the life of My Heart. Creatures, instead—they say one thing and feel another in their hearts; they mix many human ends also in making friends, and this is why they change according to the circumstances. So, the dispersion of those who seemed to want to lay down their lives in the good times, and who cravenly run away in the time of humiliations and scorns—they are all effects of the human will. The human will is the true prison of the creature, and is clever in the art of being able to form many little rooms—but all without windows, because it is not skilled at forming openings in order to receive the good of light.
“Therefore, passions, weaknesses, fear, excessive worries, inconstancy, are as many dark rooms of its prison, and she remains now hampered in one, now in another; and fear makes her fear and move away from the one who is laying down his life for love of her. On the other hand, one in whom My Will reigns lives in My royal palace, in which there is so much light, that the pains, the humiliations, the calumnies, are nothing other than stairs of triumphs and of glory, and completion of great and Divine Works. So, instead of running away from the poor martyr who has been cast into dust by the human perversity, she draws closer to him, waiting with patience for the hour of the new triumph. Oh! if My Will had reigned fully in the Apostles, with certainty they would not have run away in an hour in which I felt the need of their presence, of their faithfulness in My so many pains. In the midst of enemies who wanted to devour Me, I wanted My faithful ones close to Me, because there is no greater comfort than having a friend close in time of bitternesses. I would have seen in My dear Apostles, close to Me, the fruits of My pains, and—oh! how many sweet memories would have arisen in My Heart, that would have been balm for Me in My intense bitternesses. My Divine Will, with Its Light, would have prevented their step from running away, and therefore they would have drawn closer around Me. But since they lived in the dark prison of the human will, their mind was obscured, the heart became cold, fear invaded them—in one moment they forgot about all the good they had received from Me. And not only did they run away from Me, but they dispersed themselves from one another—all effects of the human will, that does not know how to maintain union, and knows only how to disperse in one day the good that one has done in many years, with many sacrifices. Therefore, may your only fear be that of not doing My Will.”